I'm Never Moving...Again

 I’m NEVER Moving…Again

By John W. Vander Velden

Oh, I don’t know where I will spend all my remaining days.  It seems unlikely that I will stay at this location forever.  But the events of the past ten days have taught me an important lesson…I’m not moving. 

Our son’s achievements resulted in his location to a new state.  Beginning your career is a big deal and he was SO excited.  We should have known the drill, we had moved him before, three times before. But things were a bit different this time.  Distance for one thing and Nick, like all of us, had with the passing of time gathered “things”.  There were his things and there were “our” things.  So, it turned out for our good fortune that the things were divided so we needed to move less stuff each day.  On a Thursday, we rented a U-Haul and Jackie and I rumbled down the two hours to campus and near day’s end rumbled back…and unloaded our furniture.  My back will remind me for weeks that hauling a chest-of-drawers upstairs alone was a mistake.  It was only thirteen steps for crying out loud.  Once it would not have caused a sweat, well, maybe a sweat, but nothing more.  But now…the task was pure insanity.

On Monday we started early, drove that two hours to “college” town and rented the truck there.  Nick lived on the ground floor.  I had forgotten just how big a plus that was.  We had him loaded by noon.  A quick lunch and Jackie and I were on the road.

A truck driver would have thought driving a 15 foot U-haul a piece of cake, but I’m not a truck driver.  So interstates, bumper to bumper traffic at speed, and construction narrowed lanes made an interesting four and a half hours.  It must have been crowding five when we entered a really nice quiet apartment complex and the _____ began.

Yes, I knew that the ground floor in West Lafayette simplified things, but…

Nick has a really nice apartment on the THIRD floor.  Oh by the way, did I mention the six flights of stairs.  I GUESS NOT!  I had help…thank goodness.  And Nick handled the heavy…downward ends…but I’m never doing that again…I MEAN NEVER!

It was after eight when I nearly passed out.  Upper eighties and 114+% humidity, with a thunderstorm on its way.  Maybe it was the heat, OK the heat didn’t help.  Maybe it was not eating for nearly nine hours, likely, my sugars had to be in the basement.  Maybe it was all of the above, but my world spun and things began to get dark.

Food!  There are times when it is EXTREMELY necessary to take the time.  Microwaves, and frozen stuff can be lifesavers…

We nearly beat the storm.  I did say NEARLY.  But we got the truck unloaded.

No matter how much stuff you have, you need something.  A Target run provide a couple of vitals so Nick could make the night.  Steak and Shake fed us…officially.  It was well after 11:00 when the U-haul found its way to the hotel where Jackie and I would rest our weary, and in my case “OLD” bones.

But through it all I learned an important lesson.  I’M NEVER MOVING AGAIN!   

(544 Words) 5-25-2018

What Parents Do...

What Parents Do…

By John W. Vander Velden

My mind is reeling.  It would be no surprise the events of last weekend, including Nick’s graduation, and preparations for his move, fill my mind to bursting.  So for this week’s post I offer some of my personal thoughts. 

We spent a few hours wandering the campus with Nick on Friday last.  Hard to imagine that he has spent so much time at the university, and it was the first time Jackie and I entered the Mechanical Engineering Building.  So our son showed us the senior projects that were on display, including his.  He took us to some of the lecture halls the computer lab and much of the world that had been his over the last five years.

We made the trip back to West Lafayette on Saturday, for pictures.  Those that know me understand how often my Nikon is found dangling around my neck.  So though the light was just plain terrible with the constant threat of rain, we walked miles and I did my best to capture Nick and “his” school.  Someday perhaps those images will mean something special to him…they mean something special to me.

As we raced about the central portion of the campus with Nick in his black robe and his gold stole, he was careful to keep his orange tassel on the right side, and not cross under the bell tower.  Superstitions and traditions blend in ways not always logical.  But underclassmen do not cross under the tower until they hold their signed diploma.  For five years Nick has made certain he never did, and Saturday was the last day he would take those few extra steps to go around the tower’s base.

We met up with Jackie’s nephew and family on that photo shoot.  Having driven from South Carolina, their company was an extra bonus.  Nick showed them about the

Nick spending a few moments with John Purdue and
his cousin Stephen

campus, as we dodged raindrops.

Sunday.  What can I say?  Our day started early.  We reached Nick’s apartment by seven and made the long walk to the Armory.  It was there we left him for a time surrounded by a sea of black capes mulling about in the early morning sun.  It is hard to describe a father’s thoughts as he watched the child he witnessed enter this world surrounded by so many others that began their lives in much the same way.  But your head tells you, those soon to graduate are not children any longer, but young men and women, that like Nick are ready to begin the next part of their lives, but your heart will not allow you to believe.  You remember the road that has at last led us all here…all the stumbles…all the achievements…all the ordinary days that matter the most.  You look on and wonder how we have reached this point.  You wonder what new challenges lie ahead for him, and pray he will face them and persevere.   You pray that he finds the success he seeks and that in some way he finds the happiness that he deserves…just as he has given a happiness to his mother and father all these years.

The Hall of Music is a grand space.  We sat there, and by chance, found ourselves in perfect seats.  With a name like Vander Velden he was not among the first to parade past.  There must have been four hundred or more soon to be engineers that walked at my elbow before Nick’s turn arrived. I saw him, standing tall in pride with the gleam of excitement in his eyes.  Five hard years and five Co-op rotations in his wake.  All the work and moments that led to this achievement…Nick’s graduation…on Mother’s Day 2018.

Did the world stop to take a breath?  Not likely.  But Jackie’s and mine did…for a moment…just the briefest of time…we found ourselves between what was and what would be.

I think that most parents feel the same way.  At graduation we never consider our costs that have helped our child.  No we see the significance of a change in a way that no other is able.  We bite our lip locking emotions in places from which they scream to be released.  But it is not the time…it is not our time, but Nick’s.  And we do nothing to take away even the slightest glory he so richly deserves.

That’s what parents do.  That’s what parents always do.

(730 Words)  5-18-2018







At last he could walk through the clock tower.

Congratulations Nicholas John Vander Velden
2018 Graduate Purdue University School of Mechanical Engineering

What Became of the Child?

What Became of the Child?               May 31, 2013

By John W. Vander Velden

What became of the child I knew?  Surely time’s passing insufficient…could it be I have missed the years?  For a disconnect exists between my eyes and heart…what I see and what I feel.  I am unable to fully accept the truth known, wishing to hold the small hand once more.  Where are the tiny fingers that assembled blocks into new creations…that pushed trucks and trains across the floor?

What became of the child that stared with awe, at the star filled sky…that held my hand tightly as we faced the ocean’s waves?  What has become of the one I gently tucked in not so long ago?  Where have I been…how did I miss it all?  For he is no more.  Replaced by one so straight and tall…one that come and goes…slipping in and out of my life…but never from my heart.

What became of the child that walked on unsteady legs…grinning at the achievement…the one with fearful hands gripping the handlebars, while I ran alongside?  Now with keys in his hand, he moves about far and wide.  I wish him safety as he ventures out, knowing the dangers all around, and say a prayer for his protection.  With eyes on the clock, my ears listening for the first sounds that ease my heart at last.

What became of the child that I drove to school…to classes and extracurricular requirements?  The waist high boy standing among others, waiting impatiently for each day to end.  When did he merit the gown and mortarboard?  Standing among his peers, yet apart, for I see no others.  Surely my heart swells with pride as I see this young man…all his accomplishments…his awards…the world that lays before him, awaiting his conquest…yet part of me wonders.  What became of the child?

(308 Words)