One Very Long Saturday

 

One Very Long Saturday

By John W. Vander Velden

9-10-2022

 

It was the calendar that led me to thinking about a particular day. I shared that September 10th with others, but mostly with Jackie. I have learned that our perception of occurrences is limited to our own ability to absorb what is happening around us. Though others were there, my uptake on that twenty-four slice of my life will be unique.

For no others saw those events with my eyes, heard with my ears, or felt the profoundness of that day with my heart.

I was forty-two years old, and that day unfolded into a once in a lifetime experience. It was uncommon for this farmer to be away from his work all day on a Saturday. It was uncommon for me to be in a room with a Notre Dame Football game on the TV screen, for hours.

I had never taken the time to watch the coverage, pre-pre-game to post game explanations, in my life. Before or after. The results of that Michigan game didn’t much matter to me and in the South Bend area they were better off forgotten. I found it to be white noise to fill the hours, as I sat near the window at Jackie’s side.

I am not certain what value I provided during that long day. Perhaps some might say I just took up space. I hope, I at least, offered some moral support.

In some ways I was a coach, offering but a little help to someone engaged in a process, I could never fully participate.

A man on the sidelines, on a day where men always stood on the sidelines, or disconnected entirely.

I don’t remember if I ate breakfast that morning, but Jackie had insisted her eldest sister fetch me McDonalds, about the time the sun left the sky. Though I had insisted I was fine, what coach would even suggest differently, I was grateful for the sustenance within the paper bag. Who knows, without it, I might have passed out. But if I had, there were those nearby to treat the medical needs of prospective fathers.

I may have been the coach that day, but as far as I was concerned my beloved Jackie was the whole team, and the focus of my attention, Notre Dame Game or not.

But there was another involved in the drama that played out so slowly within those four walls of a room on Fourth Street in Mishawaka. Someone out of sight but very much in our thoughts. Someone that seemed to resist, fervently, a change of venue.

Darkness came outside that window at my back. The TV was extinguished, all the words about the game had been used―at least twice, and that was enough. Then Soothing sounds from the sea played on a continuous loop. The gentle calls of whales drifted down from the audio device for hours. I had nearly come to the point of believing I understood their strange language, when I asked to have the whales be put down.

It was a long day, and becoming a long night.

How much longer for Jackie as she endured the pain that I could not share. No other could, though millions upon millions of women have endured a similar experience. I suppose that number would be in the billions and not a single man among them.

We males on the sidelines or worse should never puff up our chests after such an event―never. Yet often we do, as if our involvement in the process would equates to more than a footnote.

But I was there, for there was no other place else on earth I would rather have been. I shared the experience, even with my limited participation and my contributions of questionable worth.

How does one describe their life?

For me it is best explained in the events I have lived through. Some of those things are dark, painful, break your heart kind of things. Some are frightening. But the best, the very best, lift us to places we have never been before and likely will never reach again. And five minutes until that very long day would click over to the next, I reached that grand mountaintop. For the unborn child had been a real part of Jackie’s world for nine months. But when Nick physically entered my world, he was truly our son. It was a wonderful end to the day.

That very long Saturday was exactly twenty-eight years ago. It was an ending but more importantly a beginning.

Happy 28^th Birthday Nick      

The Summer Wind

 

Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts

FRIDAY, AUGUST 10, 2018

The Summer Wind 

By John W. Vander Velden

 

The hot air in motion…a summer wind.  From where it comes?  To where it goes?  Do we take the time to consider?  It is after all just a summer wind.  The breeze that rearranges our hair that makes the heat almost bearable…nothing more.  Yet the sun bears upon me.  As I wipe my brow and adjust my cap, sweat stinging my eyes and causing my shirt to cling, I reflect.  Watching shadows pass over the open land while the wind chases the high puffy white clouds across the pale sky.  Reminded of my own journey, of life’s wind scurrying me along.  Few know or care where that journey began, only God knows the road ahead.  No, I am like the summer’s wind.  Some will notice my presence others will ignore.  But as I pass I must do what I can…to love…to laugh…and to care.  For just as the hot breath of summer moves on and does not return…so must I.  

(166 Words) Posted 9/7/2012

Each of Us Needs a Purpose

 

Each of Us Needs a Purpose

By John W. Vander Velden 

Fact is we need a reason to get up every morning. It seems most of our lives we are rushing from one thing to another. It begins when we enter our school years. Looking back I realize that those early years were training for such a large portion of my life. Getting up in the morning stuffing breakfast in my mouth and being ready for the bus to carry me and others to the building that contains us and gave me tasks to accomplish. Yes, I learned that 2 plus 2 equals 4, I learned the difference between a noun and a verb, and all the other information others were certain I needed to know in order to survive. 

But the important thing I learned has little to do with the hours of lessons. I learned to schedule my day. For going to school was the purpose I had been given during those years. And was prepared…and longing for the next step when my formal education had been completed. For I like most of you joined another organization. The workforce. 

By then I had learned the need of an alarm clock, how to find my own transportation, and how to schedule my week. For some their first job is only one stop of their working career. For me the location changed once, but not the job title. 

My years of employment made up a very large portion of my life. But those years were not my complete existence, and a moment came when my working years came to an end. And I found myself among those that God had granted the time and resources to step forward when that moment arrived. 

Retirement. 

I believe each person has a unique definition of retirement. There are those that plan for the moment when their working life is completed. Others have the end of their career thrust upon them. Forced retirement. And there are others that find themselves unable to carry the burdens of their works obligation. Perhaps it is health issues, or just limitations that age forces upon us. Yet the moment comes when the discipline that had been part of our lives for so long is no longer required. Each faces that moment in their own way. 

But even when, for whatever reason a person retires, that person needs a purpose. 

When the day came, after forty-five years of farming, I found I had an advantage. Two advantages actually. 

One: I had spent many years self-employed. To be successfully self-employed a person needs discipline. There is no one to assign the tasks I would tackle any given day. There was no one that would keep track of the time I started or finished my day. How many days a week I put my “shoulder to the wheel.” Those were among the responsibilities I alone carried. Self-employment has its blessings, but it also has its burdens. 

But the discipline that was needed for all those years gives me “a leg up” when I entered retirement. 

Two: I am a man of faith. I would hope that would be something I shared with the masses, but I have come to realize that it is not as common as I thought. It seems that over the years the number of people that consider themselves bound to a belief has diminished substantially. So if I consider this connection an advantage, and I understand it is not a benefit shared by everyone. 

Having faith provides a deeper view of the world that surrounds me. But my specific faith in God, the Master of the Universe, reminds me daily that nothing is by chance and everything has a purpose. I include myself in that everything. I know I have a purpose for each day. I may not know what today’s purpose is, but understanding that I have a purpose, energizes me to seek what that purpose could be. 

I do not fritter away my day staring at a glowing screen across the room. I do watch some TV in the evenings. But I have other things to take up my time. God has given me gifts, shouldn’t I, as long as I have the breath and energy, pursue them? God has placed me in places and circumstances I never envisioned, given me responsibilities I have not sought but must fill. Do I ignore those new obligations for my personal leisure? 

The fact is I am too busy. The fact is I cannot carry all the possible purposes that are placed at my feet. But that’s alright. I have sufficient purpose for today...tomorrow too. 

Each of us needs a purpose...a reason to get up each morning. I thank God I do!  

 (783 Words) 7-26-2022

 

 

40 Years Planted

 

40 Years Planted

By John W. Vander Velden

 

June 18^th 1982 was the day I moved into a house in rural Marshall County. It is the residence I now share with my beloved Jackie and our small but very dear dog Cloey. Today, Saturday marks forty years that I have lived within these walls. I might have said beneath this roof, but for all points and purposes the roof has been replaced back in 2007 or so.

In this world where everyone seems so mobile that I have remained planted so securely in this particular location seems unusual. I was thirty when I moved here, the math is not difficult to guess what number describes my age today. But what kept me in this physical place is really simple. My profession’s demands for the most part held me near the source of those responsibilities.

But now that I am retired I can live whereever I choose. Providing Jackie agrees. I couldn’t imagine living somewhere apart from her. Yet all the same I like where I am living―for the most part. There is no perfect place, no perfect house, but this one’s not so bad. We have made it comfortable, to our liking. It is easy for us to go from here to the places that need our attention. We have friends nearby. And the folks next door are not next door, if you get my meaning.

I am planted here on this acre of hillside, with farmland on my south and east. I am planted here and over the years have managed to live the largest part of my life here.

I guess what I am saying is that I am content in the place I am planted and hope to remains so for a few more years. Content is, in my opinion, a decision made. It is different than being deliriously happy. For that kind of happiness is often temporary. I can’t imagine being deliriously happy for forty years.

No, life is primarily made up of ordinary days. But in truth there is something outstanding in each of those ordinary days if we take the time to consider them.

I have learned a great deal about myself during the span of those years. And I have been induced to learn a great deal about my faith by the people in my life, by the circumstances I have faced, by my successes during that time, by my failures as well, and through the sorrows that each life will endure, mine included.

I learned that instead of looking for God, I could see Him everywhere I looked. In the rising sun. In the star filled night sky. In a snowflake. In a flowing stream. In the face of my newborn son. I now understand that God is not in some far off place, locked within the walls of some sanctuary, or high above in the halls filled with angels, God is here and everywhere, now and always. God shares the space I tread, even within the walls of this modest house. He is nearer than my next breath.

I have come to recognize that I am only human. But being human means I carry both greatness and insignificance. I have been blessed with talents and weaknesses. I am no more than others. But by the same token I am not, when taken as a whole, inferior to anyone. I am, as you are, a child of God. But I am also saved from myself, by the grace that comes from Christ.

And so I am as a seed planted and I have grown these forty years and continue to grow for whatever time God has allotted. Hopefully you have grown during your years as well.

(616 Words) 6-18-2022

 

Silence?

 

Silence?               

By John W, Vander Velden

 

Silence is never misquoted.

I thought there was wisdom in that phrase. And there is. But the more I thought about it the more I came to understand there is a place for silence and there is place for other actions.

For though we cannot be held accountable for the words unsaid. And there are times when shouting voices are best ignored. Yet there are times when our silence speaks words we should never say...may reinforce actions that we should not condone.

There is a time for silence. Just as the list in Proverbs speaks of a time for all things there is a time when our lips should be sealed. Often verbal attacks directly aimed at our person are best answered with silence. But when those verbal abuses are pointed toward the innocent not speaking on their behalf may not be the best response.

Each of us must decide what we stand for and what response we hope is best. But we must do so prayerfully, trusting our God to help us to choose our words and actions that form the best response to difficult situations.

To direct ourselves, in determining:

What do we stand for?

What do we believe?

What would God want us to do?

What would be the best result possible?

And do we have the courage to stand up and be counted?

The weak are always outnumbered by the loud voices of would be bullies. Do we have the courage to stand with the few, against the many? Do we have the courage to speak the truth when lies are believed by the masses?

There will be times that if we do not stand up...no one will.

Silence is never misquoted. But it not always God’s response!

4-5-2022 (292 Words)

Let There Be Light

 

Let There Be Light 

By John W. Vander Velden 

The first three words used to open the Bible are “In the beginning”, Genesis 1: 1.  Knowing that bit of info has been a blessing once when we played “Trivia Pursuit” years ago. But the phrase, “Let there be light” comes soon after, as it is the first part of God’s creation. 

I find that to be significant. 

Imagine the universe totally absent of light. 

A bit of physics here. Darkness in truth does not exist. Try explaining that to a child trembling beneath the covers. But just like cold doesn’t exist, darkness, on its own, does not either. Simply put, cold is the lack of heat, and darkness is the absence of light. 

Does that help? 

I didn’t think so. 

Let me step back a bit. There is a phrase I have heard from time to time, “you can’t mix light with darkness.” And that in the most general sense is true, such as you can’t mix sand and water. Because given enough time the sand will settle out. Yet that phrase about light is often used incorrectly. Times it is used as a foundation statement of judgement while comparing one thing to another, as if light would be diminished or threatened when exposed to darkness. 

But that is ridiculous. 

Because in truth darkness is only the lack of light. 

An example: Perhaps you have gone on a tour deep into one cave or another. When your party is led to the deepest portion of the underground cavern the lights are extinguished and you find yourself in total darkness. Even if you haven’t had the experience, you know people that have. You literally cannot see your hand before your eyes. 

That pitch that surrounds you is the lack of light, for the total darkness vanishes the instant light is restored. The darkness is displaced by the illuminated bulbs. 

Now for an imaginary scenario. 

Imagine that instead of a space far beneath the surface, you replace it with a gigantic sports dome. The biggest you can imagine. You are in this immense space and by some situation all the lights have been turned off and all the gaps sealed so absolutely no light from the outside can penetrate the grand space. The darkness is complete...dense...almost suffocating. Somewhere within that vast space, someone strikes a match. Near or far it makes no difference. A match. A tiny flame. But you instantly see the light. Even if it is across the length of that arena. Perhaps more than a hundred yards away, but you see that tiny flicker of light. Even surrounded by that immense volume in darkness, one little match cuts through the blackness. 

Light does not fear the dark! The dark cannot make the light less light, but ANY light makes the dark less dark. Light conquers darkness every time! 

Now back to the beginning and the significance of the words, “Let there be light.” 

Genesis tell us that God commanded that there should be light, and then pronounced it good. God brought light where no light existed. If we only consider that from the purely physical point of view, it is amazing. But let us see it in the symbolic value as well. 

Cold, darkness, evil, are only the lack of the positives that can brush them aside. God provides the positives. Warmth...light...love. These things and all other GOOD things find their source in God the Master and Ruler of the universe. 

Light entered the universe and pushed darkness’ veil aside. So much so that God provided boundaries to where the light would go. Night and day for instance. That is about the physical value of light. But we are taught that there is a deeper value than the superficial. 

Jesus tells us He is the light of the world. 

Not a lamp. Not a candle. Not stadium lights. No, Jesus is the light that CAN conquer the darkness that seeks to swallow us. The light of Christ is the power to overcome hate, envy, cruelty, deceit, and all forms of evil. 

Jesus is the light! 

The only REAL light in this dark world. 

That light is a free gift available to anyone. Yet there are those that refuse to see the value of the gift...refuse to see the light that is right in front of them...unable to see how that light can penetrate even the darkest corners of their lives. How the light will make their lives better. 

So where does that leave us? 

For each person must decide if they will allow the light to enter their life. 

It is a personal choice, no one, not your friends, your parents, or your spouse, can make that decision for you. 

I have chosen light! 

Have you?

        

 

Reflections of Gray

 

Reflections of Gray

By John W. Vander Velden

 

There can be no joy in this

Only disappointments and pain.

Looking through tear clouded eyes,

Hearing with desperate ears.

Waiting...

                  Waiting...

                                     Waiting...

 

It seems the worse,

The ending is certain

Yet the time unknown.

It is the between that is so difficult,

The between the then and the now.

And all the unknown that lurks there,

There between the then and the now.

So we must continue.

Waiting...

                Waiting...

                       Waiting...

 

(625 Words) 6-28-2008