BEN

Ben                         

By John W. Vander Velden

 

The light entering through colored glass, the only illumination in the large room with a high ceiling and precisely ordered furniture.  Benjamin Richards had come in search of answers.  This place the last of many locales he had gone with a yearning heart.  Richards had no idea why he had chosen this particular building.  There were many from which to choose.  Yet as he drove, feeling so lost, he pulled into the parking space.  Why had he left his car and moved those few steps to the doorway which Benjamin felt certain would be locked?  Where was the logic that had driven his life?  But leaning upon the heavy oak door, grasping the handle, the way opened easily.  It seemed Benjamin Richards had been expected.  Without thought Richards moved to the large room, the open dim space of high windows and scents unfamiliar, filled with silence.

  Benjamin had never moved across these carpeted floors before, nor had he darkened any other building of this type.  Until this day Richards had never felt the need.  There had been so many other places to be.  So many other places that supplied the needs he felt.  But days of seeking what remained hidden, drove Benjamin at last to a place he felt had no purpose, at least no purpose for him.  Now here in the dim light, a place alien yet familiar in ways Richards could not fully understand, something primal, something written it seemed deep within the subconscious. 

Alone in that space, Benjamin crossed most of its length.  Taking a seat, the man stared into the dimness before him.  It was then Benjamin Richards began to speak, a whisper soft yet clearly auditable.  And as Benjamin Richards asked questions, the questions that like lead, weighed upon his heart, his voice grew stronger.  As tears began…tears of fear…tears of guilt…tears of pain…tears of anger…Benjamin’s voice now shouting…demanding…begging…echoed as the words moved back and forth, filling  that space to the rafters.  Filled with anger and doubt Benjamin continued his ranting’s until at last even his voice failed him.

Sitting bent, feeling broken, filled with hopelessness, Benjamin supported his wet face with trembling fingers.  Wailing, as with gasping breaths, Richards struggled to regain control of raging emotions.  When at last the shuttering ceased.  When at last breathing came in even intervals.  When at last his racing heart calmed, and Ben could lift his head, a stillness entered him.  As if the quiet dignity of his surroundings had absorbed all the hate…all the anger…all the contempt.  Within that immense calm, came something most unexpected.  For though others would believe this room contained only one angry, bitter man…Ben realized he was not alone.  That something great and good, far beyond his understanding, told Ben, that he had never been alone…That he would never be alone, no matter where he went or what he faced.  That together strength could be found.  And Ben understood…that would be enough!

(500 Words)