Reminiscing

Reminiscing

               

By John W. Vander Velden

 

Why does this time of the year lead me to reminiscing?  Perhaps it is because autumn is the last full season of the year.  For ten days or so into winter’s realm, the year gives away to another.  But with the change of leaves I am reminded of the summer’s end in my wake and face the harshness of winter.  So I wonder about where I find myself.  I think about what was, dwell a moment of where I am, and wonder what will be.  So should I be surprised to find myself wrapped up in remembering.  Those thoughts tend to take me back further than mere months.  I find myself transported to days of my youth.  A time before I found myself bound by today’s restraints…or so I may think.  But is that an accurate belief.  For each season of my life had those things that bound me to the realities of the moment.

All the same, I do not see the harm in looking back. Events of my past have built the person I have become.  So I see that by looking backward, at times, helps me understand the person I am.  I find it difficult to be completely unbiased, any time I remember things.  It seems that the memories that stand out at any given day are shaped by the mood I find myself.  When I am cheerful, memories of happy moments, of puppies and baby chicks, of picnics and days spent on the beach, and so much more come to mind.  Those days when my mood darkens, well, the past seems less pleasant, failed examinations or endless sleepless nights, or painful injuries and illness.  My past like everyone’s is made up of both happy and unhappy times.  Too easy to dwell on one or the other, but it is the whole that matters isn’t it.  And the whole, the good and the bad, make me…me.

Looking back might be necessary…at times, but I should not be so focused on what was, to become unable to see what is.  For though what was is important…what is, is much more important.  What was made me, but what I am will carry me forward.  The past is just that…THE PAST.  It is unchangeable and should be studied perhaps but must be left as it is…in the past.  Just as the now stands upon the days before, the future stands upon THE NOW.

So here in the middle of autumn and as I face great changes in the coming months, I think about years gone by.  But though my mind considers long ago, I look with anticipation toward the future…and more specifically my future, and those that will share this next adventure with me.  As I consider the stumbles in my wake I know that missteps lie before me.  But those past fails did not stop my forward journey, and I am certain that future fails will not end my progress.  Yes, there is a time for reminiscing as long as it doesn’t keep me from living.  It hasn’t yet, and I don’t expect it will now. 

(523 Words)  10-20-2016