How
Did I Get Here?
By John W. Vander Velden
Perhaps I dwell on
matters of no worth. Perhaps I have too
much time. Well I doubt that I have too much time. Perhaps a great many things. But there are times I wonder how I came to
this place in my life.
I was so ready to begin
my life when I graduated Purdue University.
Seems natural, don’t you think. I
had plans, a sequence of events that I expected to accomplish. When I reached thirty, the goals I had set
for twenty-five remained out of my grasp.
That was a difficult realization…a realization that affected my
self-worth. I felt that the lives of
others were progressing while I stood on the platform watching their train
racing toward glorious destinations.
That was an emotionally difficult
year, but it was the year things began to change. For though I felt my life stuck in a quagmire
of unplanned obstacles, my train, it seemed, was ready to leave the
station. I pushed myself harder, work,
my new home, and though I was far behind the plans I had made, I felt I was
progressing.
“Life happens while
making other plans.” Strange truths show
up in unexpected places. More than
thirty years have passed since the cars of my life’s train seemed to begin that
journey, and I understand that I was mistaken.
My train had already traveled many miles before I had noticed a change
in the scenery. The impatience of thirty
or any age can blind, keep us from seeing just exactly where we are. It blinded to me. But even now I wonder if I have reached the
place I should have…by now.
Rather than spending the
time dwelling on “what ifs”, I should take in the view of the place I am. No one is harder on me than…me. It is not very productive and I need to
stop. To cease measuring myself
against…well anything. I am here…right
now. This is the place that all the
work, all the experiences, all the relationships, all the “life”, has brought
me. This is where I am, and looking back
I can see, if I look with open eyes, how I got here.
(368 Words) 6-27-2017
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