Like Puzzel Pieces

 

Like Puzzle Pieces   An excerpt from “My Name is Sam Benton”

By John W. Vander Velden

 

 

Now as Sam Benton lay in the dark he considered it once again.  To many, the lost souls of the street became invisible.  But striving to survive, just to endure, day after day with no hope, could reduce a person’s worth -- even in their own eyes.  These thoughts made the pain in his head grow fierce.  It seemed a small hammer beneath his skull pounded way at his brain.  Sam would push those thoughts aside for now, attempt to take himself to a calmer place.  A place of open meadows beneath crystalline blue sky.  Closing his eyes, remembering a place, a special time.  His parents preparing a picnic lunch as he wandered nearby.  An open expanse in Colorado, of grass and wildflowers of brilliant blues, yellows and reds, a stop along the highway.  One of the many road trips they had taken.  Marsha and Theodore Benton, teachers by profession, wished to teach their son to love this great country, to show young Sam as many wonders as time would allow.  Oh, how he missed them!

 Even in the blackness that now filled his world, he felt a tear escape.  The lid insufficient to seal.  That drop did not come alone.  Soon he found himself sobbing unable to control emotions, long bottled, now free. 

This was not the time.  But when? Sam asked himself.  Later the reply.  When he would be alone -- alone to carefully take out all his thoughts and feelings -- to spread them out like puzzle pieces.  Picking up each examine it, place it among its brothers and sisters and understand.  Not the situation -- the situation was beyond Sam’s comprehension.  But to understand how he felt about each part.  How he felt about that day.  How he felt about his part; what he had done -- but much more, about what he hadn’t.

These thoughts had not lessened the throbbing.  The attempted escape to a more tranquil place had only opened the door to a painful time.  Breathing once more in huffs he pushed those thoughts aside.  A task he had over the years perfected.  Sam Benton allowed his world to grow as dark and empty as the blackness that seemed to engulf him.  There within that escape, somehow sleep came once more.

 

(378 Words)