Where I Belong

Where I Belong                                

By John W. Vander Velden

We wonder what our place might be.  In any moment we find ourselves in a changing environment, how we react to the things and people around us shape not only our perceptions of ourselves, but also the view others have of us.  Though we should never dwell on the image we project, how can we, as mere human, avoid it?  Times when we find ourselves in our “comfort zone” surrounded by those things and people we know best, little we do in any given moment change the opinions of others dramatically…”he’s just having a bad day”.  But when we find ourselves injected into a new “world” then it becomes very easy to “walk on eggshells”, and in doing so, never show who we really are. 

Those situations seem to thrust us back into the old “high school” mentality…how do we fit in?  We watch the eyes of those nearby…the “the windows of the soul”…and notice the blinks that seem to come too often, which we feel reveal thoughts of others.  Thoughts we may misunderstand.  But in that misinterpretation, we change our actions with the hope of correcting some flaw that may not have been a problem in the first place.  At times, causing the isolation which had not existed before our response. 

How do we fit in?  It is the question we all ask.  But can you force-fit yourself into the “pigeon box” too small or find comfort in one too large?  The honest answer is no!    However we rarely acknowledge the honest truth.  Each has this essential need to “fit in” and every one goes to great lengths, to at least appear, to be part of the masses.

 If I take whole situation and make it personal, I must trust that core truth above.  I fit in the place I belong.  Not that this is some geographical local.  No, it is much more than some place…it is in the constantly changing environment or world I pass through.  I am who I am…no more…but certainly not less.  I am accepted or cast aside…but as I am.  Best that you know the real me.  Best you understand the things that make the real me.  But you may not appreciate the place from where I come.  You may not appreciate the man those things have built.  And that’s OK.  For if I “bend” myself for your approval then I have failed myself.  I trust those that have, over the years, come to know me.  Those closest that have seen the “warts” and do not flee.  It is they that are truly the indicator of my worth.  It is they that show me where I fit…where I belong. 

(449 Words)