Shouting Into the Void
By John W. Vander Velden
In
a few days, this blog will reach an anniversary. Each week for four years
I have posted. That's 208 essays, micro stories, excerpts, and brief
bits of our travels. Four years.
Many
times I can't help but wonder if these "Ramblings" really reach
anyone. Days when it feels as if I am standing on a hill in a large
pasture at midnight shouting out to the darkness, shouting out to the stars,
shouting into the void.
I
check my blogs statistics. I see the number of page views that slowly
grow. I see the names of countries across the globe, the places people
live, the places people access my feeble words. These things should bring
me satisfaction. Reinforce my resolve to continue. Yet I wonder,
often, does my words really mean anything, or are they but mumblings of a fool.
I
had selfish goals when I began this experiment on March 1st 2012, to build a
following, an audience. I was told a
writer needs an internet presence, and blogging was a way to generate that
presence. I knew nothing of blogging at
the time. I’d only read a few. But I decided that if I would blog it would
require a commitment…six months minimum.
I had twenty posts written before I posted the first…that’s four months’
worth. Like I said commitment.
The
work required has always made me wonder if it was the best way to spend my
“writing time”. And taken on the surface,
the hours required for each week’s post would seem to be better spent on other
projects. But with the passing of time
my opinion has changed…some. Though I
still hope to generate a following, it is no longer the reason I sweat over
these short piece. It is my hope that I
have something to say…don’t we all…but more, to have something to say of relevance.
For
those that have these years read this blog, whether weekly or at random
intervals, I thank you. But times I ask
the question. Do my words matter? Do they mean anything at all? Or am I simply shouting into the void.
(358 Words) 2-23-2016
John, I think every aspiring writer feels the questions you articulate here. Me included. But you bring your wonderings a to a meaningful resolution here. You are discovering what you have to say in this space. And that is the best goal of all. In fact, that's the point of this pilgrimage in time we each share, I believe.
ReplyDeleteSo congratulations on four years of success in the struggle to make meaning. I admire your commitment and your resolve. I am proud to know you and look forward to more shared thoughts as food for the journey!