All The Marbles

All the Marbles              

 

By John W. Vander Velden

 

When I was young I had marbles.  And I played with them.  Boy, how has times changed.  I still have a bag of marbles stashed in a drawer someplace.  In that bag are all sorts of marbles, a few “steelies” but most spheres made of glass, purries and cat’s eyes.  Each is a different from the others.  Different colors mostly but some are different sizes too. In the fifties, first and second grade boys were measured by their marbles, how many and what kind.  Playground contests caused marbles to change hands…or owners…from time to time.  A guy might trade a few for one he wanted.  There were lessons to be learned with marbles. 

I was thinking this morning about the mental process which one of my fictional characters might employ to explain his actions.  Matthew is a humble man, who simply does not know how special he is.  He sees himself as ordinary, yet is anything but.  Matthew sees himself as a marble…just a marble in a bag filled with marbles.  He recognizes the uniqueness of every marble, and sees his own strengths and weakness as a sign that he belongs among the masses, because he sees strengths and weaknesses in others.  I think that is an honorable trait, don’t you? 

You might think this whole discussion is absurd.  For Matthew is a fictional character…someone that grew out of my mind and only lives upon the page.  But other writers know differently.  They, like me, have imaginary friends that we know very well.  We know our characters better than many of the flesh and blood people in our lives.  We build them piece by piece, layer by layer.  Reaching inside ourselves to give them life.  By understanding Matthew I understand others as well.  Bizarre isn’t it.  But we place these imaginary friends into circumstances we have never faced and watch them react in ways we feel their personality, a personality we have created, would lead them. 

I have been questioned about a portion of my novel.  It hinges on one particular moment when the two main characters must make a choice.  Most of my readers wonder how the story goes the way it does.  But knowing Matthew and Elizabeth as well as I do, I can see no other outcome.  For Elizabeth is a strong woman that has made up her mind.  Locked solid in her decision. And Matthew has never asserted his desire above any other person’s. 

Too often we wish to place ourselves and our wants toward the top of the bag.  How easily we feel our own needs as more significant than those of others.  That we are a more important marble than those that surround us.  But Matthew understood…oh, how he understood. 

The novel is a story about personal value.  How we see others.  How we see ourselves.  The story touches that topic time and again.  It centers on how Matthew and Elizabeth view themselves…and the value they place upon the other.  Those values do not match, for neither feels the other’s equal.  Humility is much more interesting than ego don’t you think?  So it comes to the point that if Matthew would assert himself, say the right word for instance, the results of that action would change the story.  But Matthew does not feel he has the right.  He does not feel that his wants or desires should trump another’s. And though that appears noble, it is not particularly.  For in truth, he feels that he is not worthy.  Matthew does not accurately see his true value.  He feels insignificant, and sees Elizabeth as unreachable. 

And though this is a fictional story about made up people, yet it holds truths we see each day.  Each day we set values upon others…we set values upon ourselves.  We do not view humanity as a bag filled with marbles.  At least not equal marbles.  We have favorites, and we have those we abhor.  We use our own crooked measuring stick to measure others.  This is neither right nor fair.  We are all marbles.  Each of us has strengths and flaws.  That is the truth of our humanness.  Just because my flaw is less objectionable that another’s doesn’t mean that another person is of less value than I.  And just because you are not wealthy or famous doesn’t mean you carry less worth.  No one knows all the battles others have endured.  No one knows all the secrets hid in dark places of others.  No one knows all the pain you or I have borne.  Each of us has had bumps and bruises throughout the years of our lives.  When we look honestly at ourselves…really honestly…we should see our own failings and seeing our own failing become more tolerant to the failings in others. 

You see we are but one among all the marbles.  Each different and yet not.  GOD made us that way.  Be humble but honest.  See the best in others.  Care about the pain they suffer.  Smile when you can.  Cry when you must.  Forgive others…but don’t forget to forgive yourself as well.  And never forget we are but one among all the marbles.  

 

(860 Words) 11-5-2016