Changed

 

By John W. Vander Velden

 

In each of our lives there comes a time when we find ourselves tested.  And among those tests comes our first moment of courage.  When I was a boy…perhaps fifteen…bringing home the cows one of my duties.  Times the cattle would be in a small exercise lot adjacent to the barnyard.  The daily task required little thought…just something that needed doing.  On one particular summer’s day when the bull, a rather large black beast, roamed with the cows, I found myself suddenly in a situation.  I carried what would be best described a showman’s switch, which I used to motivate.  I remember it as a broken down affair, with a grip not unlike that found on a golf club. I must not have paid enough attention for Benjamin slowly dawdled sufficiently to become last.  Never had the animal given the least concern.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew enough about the danger, but Ben had been docile…till that day.

 

When he turned, suddenly, I had no time or chance to flee.  Finding myself very nearly in the middle of the field with a large angry beast three or four feet away.  No time for thought…yet sufficient for fear.  Screaming at the top of lungs, as with all my strength I swung that switch, time and again across that brute’s face with no effect.  Yet I continued yelling and slapping Benjamin’s head while he stood pawing earth and bellowing his hatred.

 

Certainly at the moment I did not understand how dramatic an effect that event would have upon my life.  Often over the years I would remember that summer afternoon.  I would never forget the danger I faced…or the fear.  How easily we think those considered brave untouchable by fear.  When we look at ourselves remembering all the times danger surrounded…and know that we trembled… How can we dare compare ourselves to the bold?  Yet each day we face demon’s terror which would attack us and those we love…and we stand.  For like the boy that suddenly faced a bull’s rage…these things attack when there is no possible escape.  So we face the monster that at times is life…looking danger in the eye…fearful…certainly…but standing firm using all the strength and wit GOD has given.  Perhaps determination enough…to hold fear…and like a boy facing death on the hoof, able to persevere.

 

For if I had turned, perhaps I could have made three steps but certainly not five.  Most likely before I had changed directions that great dark head would send me crumpled to the earth…and that would have only been the beginning.  But the boy shouting and flailing proved too annoying, and at last Ben turned and dashed to the barnyard as I chased.  Trembling as I closed the gate…full aware of the situation’s truth.  Never have I considered myself a brave man.  Yet that day I became changed…understanding fear at times near, but need not be the victor.

 

(504 Words)